by Jennifer Wallace | Feb 2, 2024 | Health and Aging, Special Needs
So you’re getting older.
Don’t worry; it happens to all of us – or at least that’s the goal! But aging doesn’t mean that you have to limit your independence or immediately check into a nursing home. It just means that you need to make a few adjustments to ensure that your home remains comfortable and safe.
Today we will go over ten simple changes that can help you avoid a Steve Urkel move and make your home an age-friendly environment.
Why Aging in Place is Important
Aging in place refers to the ability to live in your own home safely and independently, regardless of your age or ability level. It allows you to maintain your familiar surroundings and go about your everyday routines with just a few helpful changes to your home. Aging in place enables seniors to maintain their autonomy and dignity while also reducing the financial burden associated with moving to assisted living facilities.
Before You Start: Assess Your Accessibility
The first step in creating an age-friendly home should come before you ever need one. Before you need a home that’s accessible to older individuals, identify potential hazards. This includes assessing the layout, identifying tripping hazards, and evaluating essential areas such as the bathroom, kitchen, bedrooms, and living room.
Your modifications will depend on your individual requirements. Consider your mobility, vision, hearing, and other specific needs. By understanding your needs, you can tailor your modifications to best suit your requirements for a safer living environment.
For example, if you notice you’re having trouble hearing the TV, you should consider investing in a door light. That way, if someone rings the doorbell, you won’t have to rely on hearing alone.
Ten Simple Changes You Can Make
1) Make the Bathroom a No-Slip Zone
The bathroom is a high-risk area for slips and falls. Installing grab bars near the toilet, shower, and bathtub can greatly enhance safety. Additionally, consider adding a shower bench or chair and a handheld showerhead for added convenience.
2) Keep Everything in Your Kitchen Within Reach
In the kitchen, ensure that commonly used items are within easy reach. Consider installing lower countertops and adjustable cabinets. Adding non-slip flooring and bright lighting can also make a significant difference in accessibility. Strong magnetic bars can keep knives in reach (just be sure the magnets are super strong so the knives don’t fall off the wall)!
3) Don’t Fall Out of Bed
In the bedroom, make sure the bed is at an appropriate height for easy entry and exit. Install handrails or use bedside grab bars to assist with mobility, or put a mobility device like a rollator next to your bed to help you get in and out of it. Adequate lighting near the bed and a clear pathway to the bathroom can also make a big difference for nighttime trips.
4) Clear a Walking Space in the Living Room
In the living room, arrange furniture to create clear pathways and remove any clutter that may pose a tripping hazard. Consider using sturdy, comfortable chairs with armrests to assist with standing and sitting. Adequate lighting and easy-to-reach light switches can also guarantee that you see any tripping hazards before they happen.
5) Install Grab Bars and Handrails in High-Traffic Areas
Installing grab bars and handrails throughout the home can greatly improve mobility and stability. Place them in key areas such as staircases, hallways, and entryways. Opt for sturdy, non-slip options that can support your weight.
6) Make Sure the Flooring is Non-Slip
Selecting the right flooring can significantly impact mobility. Non-slip flooring options include vinyl, cork, and rubber. Remove any loose rugs or carpets that may pose a tripping hazard, and ensure flooring transitions are smooth and level. Using cord covers near the wall (out of the walkway) will help prevent tripping over electronic cords.
7) Widen Doorways and Hallways
Widening doorways and hallways can improve accessibility for individuals with mobility aids such as walkers or wheelchairs. You may need to consult a professional contractor to assess the feasibility of making these modifications in your home.
8) Clear Up Your Entrances
Ensure that outdoor pathways and entrances are clear of obstacles. Repair any cracks, potholes, or uneven surfaces that may pose a tripping hazard. Install handrails or ramps as needed to facilitate easy entry and exit.
Reminder: this is something you should be doing if you have one fall (or even before that). Don’t wait until you’ve had several falls to implement these tips!
9) Light Up the Room
Good outdoor lighting is essential for safety. Install motion-sensor lights near entrances and along pathways to ensure visibility at night. Consider adding solar-powered lights for energy efficiency.
10) Explore Smart Home Support
Smart home technology can greatly enhance accessibility and convenience. Consider installing voice-activated devices, smart thermostats, and automated lighting systems that can be controlled remotely.
Bonus: Medical Alert Systems/Cell Phones
Medical alert systems typically consist of a wearable panic button that can be easily activated in case of emergencies. When the button is pressed, it sends a distress signal to a monitoring center, where trained professionals can assess the situation and dispatch help if needed.
Just by adding a simple necklace or wristband to your daily outfit, you and your loved ones can enjoy the peace of mind that comes from knowing help is just a button press away.
Another option is cell phones. If you have a loved one with mobility issues, a simple daily check-in can add to your peace of mind. (Pro tip: you can totally check-in without “checking in” – it doesn’t have to be super serious. Sending fun GIFs and saying, “I thought you’d like this!” is a great way to ensure someone’s OK without sounding like a worrywart.)
When in Doubt, Ask a Professional
Occupational therapists specialize in assessing individuals’ abilities and recommending appropriate modifications to promote independence. Consulting with an occupational therapist can provide valuable insights and personalized recommendations for what your home needs.
For more extensive modifications, such as widening doorways or installing ramps, we recommend consulting with professional contractors. Contractors who are licensed and experienced in accessible home modifications can provide valuable insight and knowledge about what works.
Financing Home Modifications
Of course, modifying your home isn’t always cheap. Review your insurance coverage to determine if any modifications may be covered, and contact your insurance provider for more information. Some insurance policies may include provisions for home modifications that improve accessibility.
There are also various grants and financial assistance programs available to help individuals fund home modifications. Research local and national resources to find potential sources of financial aid. Non-profit organizations (like Rebuilding Together Nashville) and government agencies may also offer grants or low-interest loans. (Want more info? Check out this link from Rebuilding Together!)
Embrace Aging in Place to Enjoy Your Golden Years
As we age, it is important to adapt our lifestyle to align with the changing needs of our bodies. This doesn’t mean that your lifestyle will become limited – it just means that it might look slightly different. Just think: the only thing that stands between you and successful aging in place is a bit of redecorating.
As you prepare to age in your home, you may also want to make sure you have a plan in place for your estate. Graceful Aging Legal Services is here to help you with estate planning, probate, and conservatorships. We can help you put your paperwork together and figure out what you need to truly embrace your aging in place. Contact us today to see what we can do for you!
by Jennifer Wallace | Jan 19, 2024 | Care and Savings Assessment, Family, Health and Aging, Money, Tennessee Resources
When the chorus of life changes its tune and the caregiving role falls to your feet, you may be tempted to take a page from a pop anthem and think you can take care of your loved one on your own.
Before you tell your loved one, “You belong with me,” you need to put your oxygen mask. Long-term care isn’t just about playing hero; it’s about strategic moves, open conversations, and sometimes tough choices to keep the rhythm going strong.
Organization: A Beautiful Arrangement
Without the arrangement, the symphony is just noise. Without organization as a caregiver, you run the risk of much more than musical chaos: you risk harming your loved one.
Here are some ways to keep the composition arranged perfectly:
- Make a calendar of appointments, etc. to add a lilt to your daily activities.
- Know who else is playing – create a contact list of those instrumental in care.
- Keep a list of medications in order to keep the mood right.
- Make a list of caregiving tasks and service providers in case you need backup.
- Consider centralized communications so you don’t have to sing on repeat.
Strumming the Strings of Self-Care
The spotlight’s charm fades when your spirits are lower than the lowest note you can sing. Being the primary caregiver is a test of endurance, a commitment that needs more than just a peppy melody.
Self-care is the unsung verse in this song, and nothing to scoff at:
- Regular health check-ups will keep you humming at your best.
- Little breaks (or respite time) are instrumental in keeping your pace steady.
- Support groups hit the right chord and provide backup to your solo performance.
Remember, if you’re out of tune, the duet with the person you’re caring for suffers. For a symphony of support for caregivers, a visit to The Administration for Community Living would be helpful.
Chorus of Conversations in the Family Band
The band won’t play together well unless each member knows the score. Discussing care strategies for your loved one can induce discord, but it’s a necessity. Here’s how to keep from going off-key:
- Hold a family meeting to riff on everyone’s thoughts and responsibilities.
- Encourage open dialogue—you all belong in this family ensemble.
- Chart everyone’s care duties to avert a chorus of complaints later.
Is it time to orchestrate a family meeting? These AgeWell resources may help!
The Bridge to Assisted Living
You may be singing a sweet serenade, believing whole-heartedly that home is the only concert hall for your loved one. But sometimes, an encore in another venue—like an assisted living facility—might be the most logical option.
Here’s what to consider:
- Assess your loved one’s needs—can you help them meet their everyday needs?
- What are you willing to give up to become a caregiver? Will you retire or quit?
- Take time for personal reflection—are you feeling overwhelmed?
- How will caregiving impact your own savings/retirement plan?
- Are you married, and is your spouse/family supportive of your choice?
- Explore alternatives that can offer better care than you might solo.
Another note: are there ways you can still provide care while maintaining your current lifestyle (paid caregivers, nonprofit or faith community volunteers, adult day services, etc.)?
When the melody gets complex, check out our article on the pros and cons of assisted living facilities or ask those you trust about the experiences they’ve had with assisted living facilities.
Finale: Legally Tuning Your Care Strategies
There’s an encore element that demands attention: legal preparedness.
Having a plan in advance is like sheet music for the future, keeping everyone on the same page. Work with a legal service like Graceful Aging Legal Services, PLLC, that conducts these arrangements with expertise, so you can ensure the final movements of your caregiving symphony are in harmony with smart decisions for your future.
Securing the long-term care and future of a loved one is no solo act. It’s an orchestra of thoughtful planning, tied with legal strings that resonate within the court of life. So, tune your instruments, take a deep breath, and let the music play in confidence knowing you’re not in this alone. Contact us for help when you’re ready!
by Jennifer Wallace | Jan 8, 2024 | Health and Aging, Medicaid, Medicare, Special Needs, TennCare, Tennessee Resources
Aging in place is the ability to live in your own home and community independently, regardless of age or ability. It allows you to remain in familiar surroundings while maintaining a sense of autonomy. Planning ahead for aging in place is crucial to ensure a smooth transition and a comfortable future.
By getting informed about aging in place, you can make good decisions that will positively impact your quality of life as you grow older.
Benefits of Moving Early
One of the main benefits of moving early is increased housing options. By planning ahead, you can explore different housing choices that cater to your needs and preferences.
Enhanced quality of life is another advantage. If you start early, you can create a supportive and comfortable living environment that promotes your overall well-being while reducing stress. When you plan and prepare, you can avoid the rush and uncertainty of emergency moves.
Improved safety is important, too. Adapting the living space to accommodate changing needs can prevent accidents and injuries, meaning you’ll be healthier and happier.
Assessing Your Needs
When planning to age in place, it is important to assess and address specific needs. Here are some things you can do:
- Make simple home modifications like grab bars and clear plenty of space to walk or move with mobility aids.
- Invest in medical equipment or technology like stairlifts, home monitoring systems, etc., for added peace of mind.
- Check into community support services, like meal delivery programs and in-home care providers, to stay socially engaged.
- Secure accessible transportation so you can get where you need to go, even if your situation changes.
Our area has awesome resources for those who want to stay independent without personal vehicles. Check out WeGo, Senior Ride Nashville, or Wilson County Rides in addition to rideshare programs. If you need transportation to a medical appointment and have a Medicare Advantage plan, you may have transportation benefits!
Exploring Housing Options
Independent living communities provide a range of housing options that cater to those who want an active and social lifestyle. These communities usually offer amenities and services designed to enhance well-being and promote socialization.
Assisted living facilities are suitable for individuals who require some assistance with daily activities. Trained professionals are available to provide support while still allowing residents to maintain their independence.
Nursing homes provide comprehensive 24/7 care for individuals with complex medical needs. These facilities offer skilled nursing services and rehabilitation programs.
Our personal favorites, though, are continuing-care retirement communities. They provide a continuum of care, helping people transition seamlessly between independent living, assisted living, and nursing care as their needs change. While you may never need anything more than independent living, it’s comforting to know that you won’t have to plan another big move or relocate further from friends and family.
Financial Planning
Most people ages 65 and up are eligible for Social Security retirement benefits. Additional government assistance programs, such as Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and Veterans Affairs (VA) benefits, may be available to eligible older adults. Exploring these options can provide extra financial support.
Consistently saving for retirement ensures you’ll have the necessary funds to support your desired lifestyle. Retirement savings, such as 401(k)s and IRAs, can help you live comfortably in retirement. If you are fortunate enough to have a pension, it will be a great resource to help your quality of life in your golden years.
For these types of accounts, you’ll want to make sure that you name a beneficiary with your financial institution. If you have a pension, you will need to designate whether you want your spouse to continue receiving income in the event that you predecease them.
Medicare and Medicaid are government programs that provide healthcare coverage for seniors. Understanding the eligibility criteria, available benefits, and how (or whether) they can be combined with other plans is essential for effective financial planning.
Your Medicare coverage may assist with certain improvements to your home and home health care under limited conditions. Medicaid (also called TennCare) is frequently used by individuals in nursing homes to supplement their income to pay for care.
Long-term care insurance can help cover the costs of assisted living, nursing homes, and in-home care. It provides financial security and peace of mind for individuals planning their futures and provides more robust and flexible solutions than relying on Medicare or Medicaid alone.
Long-term care insurance can be expensive, but there are newer options to make it a better value overall, such as hybrid policies that provide a death benefit and deduct the amount spent on long-term care needs. Your insurance agent is a great resource to talk through these options.
Building a Support Network
Family and friends play a vital role in supporting those who wish to age in place. Reliable support systems can provide emotional support and practical assistance, ensuring that loneliness is never an issue.
Community organizations like FiftyForward and other local non-profits offer various activities and services to help seniors stay connected. Support groups for older adults can offer a space to share experiences, find understanding, and receive advice from others facing similar challenges. These groups foster a sense of community and provide emotional support.
Professional caregivers can provide specialized assistance and care for individuals who require additional support. Hiring trained professionals can ensure individuals receive the help they need while remaining in their own homes.
Maintaining Independence
Physical exercise and wellness are essential for maintaining independence and overall well-being. Engaging in regular exercise like walking or fitness classes can improve strength, balance, and flexibility.
Mental stimulation and cognitive health are also important. Doing puzzles, reading, and socializing can help keep your mind sharp and promote cognitive function. A little daily Wordle competition is a favorite in April’s house.
Nutrition will help you maintain good health. A balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains can support overall well-being and energy levels.
Keep appointments with doctors and specialists to manage existing health conditions and address new concerns. Regular check-ups, screenings, and preventive care can help individuals stay healthy and catch any potential issues early.
Want More Info on Aging Gracefully?
Taking these steps will help increase your chances of having a comfortable and fulfilling future.
Remember, it’s never too early to start thinking and planning for your golden years.
By the way, there’s a FiftyForward event coming up on 1/16 to discuss housing. We’ll be there – will you?
by Jennifer Wallace | Jan 2, 2024 | Care and Savings Assessment, Family, Health and Aging, Money, Special Needs
Caregiving is an important responsibility. It involves providing essential services to another person (often a senior), helping empower them to live their best life even as they age.
Understanding the Caregiver Role
Caregivers must understand the tasks and responsibilities they may be taking on, and think carefully about what boundaries they’d like to set in advance. Doing this is a crucial part of performing the job well and ensuring each person receiving care gets the help they need.
Caregiving works best when it’s a community effort. There’s a lot of joy in caregiving (which is something not everyone expects when they go into it). You may think of caregiving as “This is how I’m helping someone else,” but you’re actually helping your future self as well. Caregiving provides an opportunity to think about your goals and be more proactive about aging than you would have been if you weren’t a caregiver.
It takes a village to be a caregiver – so don’t forget to lean on the support of others during this time. (More about that later!)
Some typical roles of a caregiver include tasks such as:
- Assisting with activities of daily living
- Coordinating medical appointments
- Providing emotional support
- Managing medications
- Handling bill payments
- Meal planning and preparation
- Resolving insurance benefits issues
- Providing assistance with technical issues
- Planning or providing transportation for loved ones
As a caregiver, it’s important to remember that the role can sometimes present physical and emotional challenges. Working to meet this head-on and find solutions is an important part of advocating for the individual you care for and yourself. Don’t forget to laugh where you can – it’s a great way to cope with the emotional and physical strain, build rapport, and enjoy this season!
Planning to Help Them Age in Place
Aging in place refers to the ability of an individual to live in their home and community safely and independently. Caregiving can help facilitate this process, enabling seniors to keep their homes rather than move into an assisted living facility.
(Aging in place isn’t the only option, however; some older individuals prefer to downscale or move into an assisted living facility for more companionship. Make the choice that works best for you and your family.)
Proactive caregiving should always provide a supportive environment for daily living activities. Evaluate the home for potential hazards and make necessary modifications and adaptations.
Some helpful and simple changes that can significantly increase safety include:
- Everything they need, on one level. Although most people opt for single-story homes, it is possible to have a multi-story home and still embrace this principle. For example, April has everything she needs on the ground floor of her home except her washer and dryer. But she plans to hire someone to do her laundry once she can’t make it up and down the stairs safely!
- Installing grab bars and ramps. All of us lose our balance sometimes, but as we age, it can become more common. Having something to provide stability within the home is important.
- Using non-slip flooring and removing throw rugs. What is the point of throw rugs, anyway? Over time, they all curl up and cause a major tripping hazard.
- Use cord covers. Unless you want to go entirely off the grid as you age, cords will be a part of your life. They can be a tripping hazard, but cord covers can help!
- Exploring accessible technology resources. Another aspect of aging can be limited vision and hearing. It can be helpful to find ways around these impairments.
- Using medication management apps. Reminders are especially important to those who need to take their medicine at the same time daily.
Building a Support Network
Anyone who has worked in caregiving knows that it is overwhelming. Having a strong support network for both caregivers and the senior individual is of the utmost importance.
Caregivers should seek to involve family and friends in the caregiving journey as much as possible. These people can provide much-needed assistance and emotional support as the situation is navigated. It’s also wise to utilize professional support, such as home healthcare aides or respite care services. Remember, you can’t pour into someone else’s life if you are empty, so respite care can be vital for your well-being!
There are also many community organizations and support groups that connect caregivers with others who understand their experiences.
Remember – a support network doesn’t have to just include those providing care to the person who needs care. A good support network should also provide care to the caregiver. As April says, “Don’t think you need to be a first-line caregiver to be important in the caregiver support system.”
Self-Care for Caregivers
Taking good care of yourself provides a strong foundation to care for others. Burnout is a common issue for caregivers but must be dealt with for the overall well-being of both the caregiver and the person who is receiving care.
So how should caregivers manage their mental health and levels of burnout?
Here are some ideas:
- Practice mindfulness to stay emotionally healthy
- Engage in hobbies to keep your creativity alive
- Move your body and exercise
If you’re still feeling burned out despite your best efforts to manage your stress, it can be a wise idea to seek respite care services. These services can help provide you with a break from your caregiving responsibilities and allow you to rest. You can also consider joining a support group designed especially for caregivers!
But what if you’re a friend or family member of a caregiver and want to know how to support them?
Here are some specific examples you can use:
- A daily or weekly phone call to check in
- Giving your friend a break every now and then
- A monthly hike with a friend (boom – friendship and exercise!)
- Send a thoughtful card or letter their way to encourage them
- Bring them homemade meals or gift cards
Communication and Decision-Making
Trust is one of the most essential components of caregiving and aging in place. Good communication helps facilitate this trust, allowing caregivers and those receiving care to speak honestly about future goals and preferences.
Legal preparations, such as establishing power of attorney or creating a living will, can help ensure the senior’s wishes are respected and get all involved parties on the same age about end-of-life planning. Ensure all decision-making processes are clearly outlined to avoid any conflicts or misunderstandings.
Supported decision-making involves everyone – not just the person who is approaching end of life, but those who are involved with their care and part of the overall support system. The most important thing a person of any age can do is to talk to their support system in advance.
First, talk to your family about your wishes, then write them down. Make sure everyone’s on the same page. If you can only do one of the two things, talk to your family.
Financial Considerations
Having finances in order is also crucial for aging in place. Understanding the insurance options and government assistance programs is important for caretakers to assist seniors with tasks like budgeting and managing support services. Resources that could prove helpful include FiftyForward and TCAD in Tennesee.
Long-term care insurance, veteran’s benefits, Medicaid, and Medicare are some common options that can help with the financial aspects of caregiving and aging in place. It’s best to seek help from a trusted financial advisor or insurance agent to work through these options and determine the best way to combine them, if possible.
Resources and Recommendations
Consider checking out books from your local library about caregiving or finding helpful websites about caregiving.
Here are some good places to get started:
You can also ask for recommendations from caregiving friends or family about programs that will support you!
Community programs like meal delivery programs and dial-a-ride services provide social engagement opportunities and promote overall well-being for seniors. Be sure to find out what services are available in your area, as they can be wonderful enrichment opportunities.
Proactive caregiving makes it possible for seniors to successfully age in place. As a proactive caregiver, you should make it a top priority to create a safe and comfortable living environment for the person you’re caring for.
Understanding your role and what resources are available is critical in ensuring seniors maintain independence and dignity as they age, and having the right support can help you ensure you’re providing the best care possible so both you and the person you’re caring for have a positive quality of life.
At Graceful Aging Legal Services, we aim to help seniors age well. Part of this includes planning for their future and the future of their families. Want to learn more about aging in place? Contact us today, and we’ll help you prepare and organize so that major decisions aren’t looming over your head!
by Jennifer Wallace | Dec 1, 2023 | Health and Aging, Healthcare
Is a care community the right place for your loved ones? There are a lot of terms out there for what living situations can look like as you age, and it’s easy to get them mixed up. Luckily, it’s not as confusing as it sounds.
Today we will discuss assisted living facilities: what they are, what they can do for your loved ones, and potential drawbacks.
Getting informed about your options is the first step in making the best choice for your family’s needs. It also means that you can be the expert the next time someone throws up their hands and asks, “What is the difference between a nursing home and assisted living?”
What is an Assisted Living Facility?
An assisted living facility (ALF) is a residential option for individuals who require assistance with daily activities but do not need the level of care provided in a nursing home. These facilities offer a combination of housing, support services, and personalized care to promote independence and well-being. Think of assisted living as an apartment complex with friendly neighbors that happens to have trained caregivers on staff.
On the flip side, a skilled nursing facility, AKA nursing home, is a residential care facility designed for the long-term care of adults with serious health conditions. People living in an assisted living facility can still manage their independence and well-being, while nursing homes are for those who need more help.
Benefits of Assisted Living Facilities
Here are the pros of ALFs:
- Professional Care and Assistance: Trained caregivers assist with tasks such as bathing, dressing, medication management, and mobility. This professional care ensures that residents receive the support they need to maintain their health and well-being.
- Safe and Secure Environment: Assisted living facilities prioritize the safety of their residents. They have safety measures in place, such as emergency call systems, 24/7 staff availability, and secure premises. This creates a secure environment where residents can feel protected and have peace of mind.
- Opportunities for Socialization: Your loved one can participate in a built-in community of peers, providing opportunities for socialization and companionship. Various social activities, events, and outings allow friendships to bloom and reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.
- Access to Amenities and Services: Assisted living facilities often provide a range of amenities, such as dining services, housekeeping, transportation, and recreational activities. These amenities enhance the quality of life for residents and make daily living more convenient and enjoyable.
Drawbacks of Assisted Living Facilities
Here are the cons of ALFs:
- Lack of Independence: Moving into an assisted living facility may require some adjustment, as it can mean a loss of independence for adults used to living on their own. The level of independence can vary depending on the facility and the person’s needs.
- Costs and Financial Considerations: Assisted living facilities can be expensive, and the cost is not covered by Medicare. It’s also not typically covered by Medicaid either, but it could be covered by long-term care insurance. It’s essential to consider the financial implications and assess if the cost is manageable for your family in the long term.
- Adjustment Period and Potential Discomfort: Moving to a new environment can be challenging for some people, especially if they have lived independently for a long time. It may take time to adjust to the new surroundings and routines, which can cause initial discomfort.
- Potential for Limited Personal Care Options: While assisted living facilities offer a certain level of care, it may not be as personalized as individualized home care. Some people may have specific care needs that cannot be fully met within the facility’s structure.
- Downsizing to a Smaller Living Space: Going into a small apartment at an assisted living facility from a multi-bedroom home is a huge adjustment. Many people spend their entire lives collecting things that need to be sorted through and majorly downsized or moved into storage.
Factors to Consider When Choosing an Assisted Living Facility
Not sure what to think about? Here you go:
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- Location and Accessibility: Think about where their support system is located, as well as amenities and healthcare services. Accessible transportation options and a convenient location can make it easier for loved ones to visit and for residents to engage in community activities. If location is a dealbreaker, consider in-home care instead.
- Quality of Care: Research the facility’s reputation and quality of care. Look for certifications, accreditations, and licensing information.
- Staff-to-Resident Ratio: Ask about the staff-to-resident ratio to ensure that there are enough caregivers available to provide personalized attention and care. A low staff-to-resident ratio can indicate that residents may not receive adequate support.
- Turnover Rate: Everything is a bit more complicated after COVID, but finding out how many of the nurses/CNAs have been there over a year can be a good indicator of how consistent the care is at that facility.
- Available Services and Amenities: Review the services and amenities offered by the facility. Consider the specific needs and preferences of your loved one and ensure that the facility can meet those requirements. This may include dietary accommodations, transportation, housekeeping, and recreational activities.
- Costs and Affordability: Evaluate the cost structure and understand what is included in the fees. Inquire about any additional charges or potential increases in the future. You’ll want to make sure that the facility’s costs align with your budget and financial capabilities.
- Reviews and Recommendations: Seek out reviews and recommendations from residents and families with experience with the facility. Their firsthand insights can provide valuable information about the quality of care, staff, and overall resident satisfaction. You can also ask friends about where their family members who need care have lived.
- Gut Instinct: Make sure you tour options before making a final decision. Sometimes you will get a feeling that something is off or not a good fit, and sometimes you will know that the care community is a great fit for you or your loved one.
Independence with a Little Help
If your mom’s joints are starting to slow her down, but she’s still independent enough to defend her position as the best bridge player in her weekly group, an assisted living facility might be the right choice for her.
There are also independent living facilities (like retirement facilities/retirement dorms) that accommodate those who need a little bit of help but don’t need as much control over where they go and what they do.
Assisted living facilities offer help when residents need it and space when they don’t, allowing your family members to retain their independence and helping you keep your peace of mind. Going through any major living change can be hard, and your loved ones may struggle with the idea of potentially losing their independence.
It’s also wise to choose an assisted living facility attached to a retirement home, as it provides a quick transition for your loved one if their situation declines.
(No one wants to have to look for another facility or worry that the facility they’re at doesn’t provide the care their family member needs!)
These are called “step-up” or “step-down” facilities, enabling you to relax knowing that, no matter what happens to your loved one’s health, you’ve planned for their needs.
Your support and research into potential facilities is crucial. Weighing all the factors allows you to make an informed decision that best suits your loved ones’ needs. Sometimes what your loved ones need is a new community to be a part of (and to beat at cards).
Check out our blog for more advice about caring for your loved ones as they age.
by Jennifer Wallace | Nov 6, 2023 | Family, Grief, Health and Aging
Death is an undeniable aspect of the human experience, yet it remains one of the least discussed subjects in our society. We avoid talking about it, even though we’re surrounded by death all our lives, and it’s the final transition we go through. By avoiding the topic of death, we miss out on opportunities to grow both personally and in our relationships with others. It’s only by confronting it head-on that we can truly find peace in the face of this inevitable transition.
Main Causes of Fear Surrounding This Transition
There are many reasons why thinking of our final transition might be scary, but one of the main causes could be that staying silent about it does us no favors. After all, we “fear the unknown,” and death is one of the greatest unknowns in life.
Grief may also impact our view of death. However, a big part of the pain of grief – again – is the fact that people don’t talk about it. When a loved one is no longer with you, you should talk about them to the people closest to you. To tiptoe around the elephant in the room is painful for everyone involved. The person you lost was a life – and, in many cases, a major part of your life. You can and should grieve that for as long as it takes.
It’s also important to prepare your kids for death by being honest about the reality of it.
If you can, start slow by saying that you’re sad because a pet died – or your friend died. If you’ve experienced a death in your family, letting your child be involved in the memorial can bring a great deal of peace, too. As is true in many other areas of communication, age-appropriate honesty and clarity are good rules of thumb.
To find peace in the face of death, we need to embrace our mortality and realize that this transition will happen to us one day. Acceptance and surrender are key parts of the process. By acknowledging that death is part of life, we can begin to let go of our fear and resistance. It is through acceptance that we can find meaning and purpose, knowing that our time is limited.
This allows us to prioritize what truly matters and live life to the fullest. Each moment becomes more precious, and we become more present and engaged.
Part of this is also to “death-proof” your life. Another reason death could scare us is because we don’t want life to end – we have so much left to do!
But if you live every day as if it’s your last by not putting things off, you will minimize the regrets you have as you face death. This also helps prevent regrets your loved ones could have from strained relationships. Treating every day as if it’s your last – and dealing with your unresolved anger – can be a huge step in the right direction.
Ruminating on death – as strange as it may sound – can also help. Caitlin Doughty of “Ask a Mortician” has an informative YouTube channel dedicated to unpacking death. She talks about historical and cultural traditions surrounding death and more.
You can plan for the practical aspects of death by asking yourself:
- Do I want to be cremated, buried naturally, or embalmed – or something else?
- What do I want my funeral service(s) to be like?
- Is there anything I’d like in my casket (if not cremated)?
- What do I want to happen to my estate?
- Will I need a will, a trust, or both?
- What pictures do I want to be shared at my funeral? (Create a shared album!)
- What songs do I want to be played at my funeral? (Create a playlist!)
- What do I want to be remembered for?
- What do I want my obituary to say? (Write it yourself!)
Finding Peace in the Face of Death
Several strategies can help us find peace when confronted with the reality of death. Meditation and mindfulness can be powerful in fostering a sense of calm and acceptance. By focusing on the “now” and accepting our thoughts and emotions without judgment, we can remember the impermanence of life and find peace.
Connecting with nature is another effective way to find solace in the face of death. Time outdoors, surrounded by the beauty and wonder of the natural world, can remind us of the cycles of life and the interconnectedness of all living things. Nature has a way of putting things into perspective.
Spiritual guidance can also provide comfort and support. Whether through religious practices or personal beliefs, spirituality helps us understand and navigate the mysteries of life and death. Connecting with something greater than ourselves can bring a feeling of peace and purpose.
Support Systems
Strong support systems are vital throughout our lives. Family and friends can provide a great deal of emotional support and companionship during difficult times. Sharing our fears, worries, and emotions with loved ones can lighten our burdens and help us feel less alone in our journey.
Our support systems help us celebrate new life – and they help us cope with life lost. When loved ones have been on the brink of death (or even approaching unknown circumstances in their lives), friends and family show up early in the morning and late at night to support us, share resources, and provide light in an otherwise dark time.
If you’ve recently lost a loved one and have no idea what to say when they tell you, “Let me know if you need anything” (or if you’re the one asking), we’ve got you! Keep reading to learn how to sign up for our newsletter, where you can get helpful resources like “15 Ways You Can Help a Friend Who is Grieving the Loss of a Loved One”! (Coming soon!)
Therapy and counseling can also help you navigate the complex emotions that crop up when confronting death. A trained professional can provide guidance and help you process your feelings, offering tools and strategies for finding peace and acceptance. (Real talk: when April’s mother-in-law died, her therapist was the first person she called after the funeral home.)
Support groups are another valuable resource. Connecting with those who have experienced similar loss or are facing their mortality can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. Sharing stories can be cathartic and can offer new perspectives about your experience.
Legacy and Leaving an Impact
Thinking about our legacy is another way we can find peace. Documenting our personal stories, whether through writing or other self-expression, can help us reflect on our lives and leave a lasting impact. By sharing our experiences, wisdom, and lessons learned, we can inspire others. If you wonder what you’d be leaving unsaid if you died tomorrow, writing it out and leaving a message for the people you love can put your mind at ease.
Acts of kindness and service are another meaningful way to leave an impact. By choosing acts of love and compassion, we create a ripple effect that goes far beyond our own existence. Small gestures of kindness can bring comfort and joy to others, and they can also bring us a sense of fulfillment and purpose.
Building relationships is also crucial in finding peace in the face of death. Nurturing connections with loved ones and building meaningful relationships allows us to leave a lasting impact on the lives of others. When we invest in our relationships and foster deep connections, we can find solace in the knowledge that we have made a difference in the lives of those we love.
Maya Angelou once told a beautiful story of her Uncle Willie and the legacy he left. Chances are that her uncle never knew the great impact he left – not only on his niece but on the other people he interacted with.
Legacy is something that we are always unintentionally building. Build it well!
Finding Peace Through Planning for the Future
Embracing the journey and finding peace in the face of death is a deeply personal and transformative process. Acknowledging the reality of our mortality and embracing death as an integral part of life helps us find solace. Through practices like meditation, connecting with nature, seeking spiritual guidance, and leaning on our support systems, we can navigate the complex journey of confronting death.
Leaving a positive legacy and cultivating meaningful relationships can bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Ultimately, by embracing the journey and confronting death with an open heart and a willingness to explore the unknown, we can find peace, growth, and enlightenment.
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